the pathetic caverns - movies by title - Westway to the World
eclectic reviews and opinions
1995, D: Kevin Reynolds; S: Peter Rader & David Twohy
Mindless, but fun in a mindless kind of way -- but then, I like Errol Flynn movies. This certainly was not as good as the worst Errol Flynn movie I've seen, but it did have a few satisfying moments of thievery from -- er, homage to -- the great swashbuckler. And you gotta admit, the boat is cool, and the big floating set, as riciculously extravagant as it was, is one of the most impressive sets you will ever see. Had gobs of fun picking holes in the plot afterwards -- probably about as much fun as watching the movie.
Warning: possible spoilers follow. Stop reading now to avoid spoilers, or scroll down to see them.
Nits and spoilers for Waterworld:
So is the kid the Dalai Lama, or what? Seriously, isn't that Tibet that she comes home to!?
Interestingly non-Judeo/Christian implication for such a mainstream flick, I thought.
My favorite plot holes in Waterworld (feel free to send me some more...)
- At the beginning of the film, you see what's-his-face distilling water from his own urine (all together now: ewww.). But the rest of the movie is distillation free! What's up with that?
- Where do all the cigarettes come from? And wouldn't they be kind of stale??
- ...didn't those jet skis look in pretty good shape, considering they're more than a hundred years old?
- How is the Exxon Valdez still in service? Or even still seaworthy?
- When the mariner makes his way across the deck of the wrecked Valdez (and at other times) isn't amazing how there are grappling hooks and ropes and whatnot just within arm's reach? and for that matter, it's always the right kind of rope. (the "bungee" rope was particularly hard to swallow -- BURP! 'scuse me!)
- rhetorical question: have you ever shot at a hydrogen balloon and had it not blow up??
- How about when the obligatory love interest is dying of thirst and she's just lying in direct sunlight? hello...? can you say "too stupid to live???"
- and last, but not necessarily least: there is not enough water on the planet to cover the whole thing, even if the ice caps melt completely (which would probably mean raising the average temperature of the planet to the point where it couldn't sustain human life -- if I remember right, if the average temperature increases two degrees, the oceans' levels go up about 200 feet, which does for Manhattan and for Venice, but doesn't hurt anything not on a coast. To swamp the whole planet, the ocean levels need to go up over a mile -- more than 25 times as much as for a two degree temperature increase -- to say nothing of the fact that the volume of water required for to increase the height sea level has a cubic relationship to the change in height.)
but hey -- that sailboat was way cool.
all contents © 1995-2004 d. mayo-wells except where otherwise noted.